Kamal Chadha

Happy Family Healthy Family

August, 2016
The Master Responds

Think about the angry disagreements you have had with your loved ones. Chances are you can remember painful details about how you felt. There's also a good chance that you are a little hazy about the details that led to the disagreement.

"Kids push our buttons for a million reasons, some good, some not so good,"says Child psychologist Kishori Mehta. "It tortures parents. It makes us so unhappy, so then we let loose. 'Stop it! Who started it? Why can't you act like your brother? Shame on you! I don't care who started it, I want it stopped! Go to your room!"

Mehta says, "Those were the answers we got when we pushed our parents' buttons as a child, and now we pass them on to the next generations. "We don"t do it to be mean. Parents think they are doing it to resolve things."

"But snapping at a child doesn"t solve the problem or teach a lesson: it just momentarily replaces the problem you have with an even bigger problem, which is a child who feels emotionally isolated from the parent."

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